This is one example of a bingo, or common phrase one may hear when they tell others they do not want children. I don’t hear this one very often but when I do, I can’t help but chuckle. It’s hard to formulate a proper response.
I think to myself, It will be no great tragedy if my lineage ends with me. But if I say that aloud, I may sound self-loathing or perhaps a bit antinatalistic. It’s just that when I contemplate legacies being carried on through generations, I don’t think of myself, I think of kings and queens and even prime ministers and presidents. I wonder if George Washington himself was bingoed when he didn’t carry on his legacy.
History has shown us time and time again that if a person’s legacy is truly of importance, it will live on through his or her own name.
This is true of the following childless presidents of the United States:
Julia begins her post with “To my childless friends”.
A little background info: I try to keep an open mind in most situations. My goal is to listen to all sides of an argument. Even if I do not personally agree, I look to understand how others might. Even when I read articles addressing the childfree from the prospective of a parent, I do my very best to understand. I want to understand. I would say I’m fairly successful in doing so.
My mindset for this article was no different. After reading though, I did feel the need to separate fact from fiction regarding the childless and childfree. Here goes…
…the thing you might not realize, the thing I sure didn’t realize before I had my son, is that when you don’t have kids, your whole life is a date night.
One of my least favorite things about working far from home is the seemingly never-ending traffic. It doesn’t matter if I hop on the highway at 2 in the afternoon or 6 in the evening, I seem to be destined to stare into seering tail lights.
I drive roughly 35 miles to and from my home four days a week for work. This equates to about eight hours of sitting on my rear, all alone, in my little tin can of a vehicle.
In the mornings, I sip coffee from a thermos and listen to a popular local radio show, Preston & Steve. To all you Philly and South Jersey dwellers, gadzooks!
My evening commute is quite different. As I’m sure you can relate, I can’t stand traffic. I’m not an angry person by default but stick me on a road with nowhere to go and no change of scenery, and I’m the very definition of road rage. Or at least I was.
I’m not sure when it hit me but I eventually began to realize that, aside from changing jobs, I couldn’t do much about my situation. I could either sit and sulk from the driver’s seat or I could use my time constructively. Either way, the time would pass. How painfully it would pass, however, was up to me.
If you’re of child-rearing age, many people of the older generation expect you to have children to protect the family’s legacy. Hearing that you do not intend to produce offspring and fill the imaginary ancestral throne with little heirs and heiresses is often met with accusations of selfishness. After all, their generation had kids so if we just prioritize like they did, we should too.
Settle down, buy a house, it’s never the right time to have kids, these things have a way of working out…
There’s no substitute for experience, and older people obviously have that in spades. The fact of the matter is that it’s almost always a good idea to seek advice from our elders. Almost. There is a generational gap at play that just may skew their outlook.
Making a Living is Hard(er Than They Might Think)
A recent study based on US Federal Reserve data indicates that millennials have a median household income of some 20% less (after adjustment for inflation) than their baby boomer parents did at the same stage of life. This is despite the younger generation being better educated and more likely to be in a dual income household. Their net worth is about half that of Boomers, home ownership is lower, and student debt is drastically higher. With so much financial insecurity, it should come as no surprise that the interest in having offspring has seen a downturn.
Football reigns in our home during the cold months. My husband Colin is a devout New York Giants fan making me, the occasional viewer, a Giants fan by marriage.
After we had been married for some years, I decided I should at least learn the basics of the game. Maybe then I would understand the hype.
Equipped with YouTube and some hand drawn charts, Colin taught me all I’d need to know to get by. After that, I diligently watched the Giants games with him.
After their fourth Super Bowl win, and the first I truly cared about, I decided it was time for me to retire. I ended on a high note, not unlike Michael Strahan circa 2007. I recognized football as infinitely more important to my husband than it was to me and I went back to my days of writing, reading, and just overall relaxing (see also: napping).
To this day we both love our autumn to winter Sundays though we observe them differently. We also both look to the end of football season with the same sense of dread. Soon our fantastic Sundays will come to an end, but not before THE PARTY – the abominable Super Bowl party… Oh, you don’t dread it? Well, you might after reading this.
Before reading this post, click here to find out why I chose to get an IUD.
As of last June, I am officially a member of the IUD secret society. While I have personally told everyone from my best friend to my hair stylist about this marvelous device, many women simply don’t talk about it. And I think that’s a real shame.
Here’s the whole truth about getting my IUD:
Before the Appointment
My gynecologist didn’t give me any pre-procedure instructions but I wasn’t satisfied with doing nothing to prepare.
I scoured the Internet for pain management tips and learned that taking 800 mg of ibuprofen a half hour before your appointment can reduce discomfort upon insertion of the IUD and quell cramps afterward. I figured it couldn’t hurt and I followed this advice.
I also decided to break my No Sweatpants in Public rule for this occasion…
I wrote this post early last summer but have been hesitant to publish it. Since then, I’ve come to appreciate that there is no shame in talking about ways to maintain your childfree status. In addition, the uncertain fate of the Affordable Care Act (AKA ObamaCare) has caused many to seek out birth control methods while they are still provided at no cost.
The least I can do is share my story.
Why an IUD?
In a little less than one week, I’m having a small, plastic t-shaped device inserted into my uterus, voluntarily I should add. I am ready and even willing to pay for this procedure but as it turns out, it’s completely free. Thanks Obama. No seriously, thank you.
As so many women are busy growing babies in their uteruses- uteri? seriously, what is the plural here?- I am on the quest to keep this womb closed for business.
Hello everyone and happy Monday! Today I am talking with Erin.
Erin is the married mother of two adorable little girls, Brontë, age 4, and Bridget, age 2. Erin is also the founder and author of the popular parenting blog Bubbles and Beebots. Yes, you read that correctly, a parenting blog.
Hello there, my name is Colin. My wife Brittany is the creator of this blog, and she asked if I could write a monthly column as exclusive content for The Rinky-Dink Life.
After all, we made the decision to stay child free together, so it only makes sense that we share some of the blogging responsibilities.
And from atop my shiny new soapbox, I’d like to talk about selfishness.
There’s a common belief that couples that choose to live their lives without having children are being selfish.
If you’re reading this blog, you’ve likely heard this before. You’ve also probably heard the notion that we childfree all have the same goals, to “play hard” without the constraint of having children. We’re all pleasure seeking hedonists that think money and an unfettered life brings happiness and fulfillment.